Thursday, April 24, 2008

Black and White (Cigar Smoke 4-24-08)

I guess Joe Hopkins, the publisher of the Pasadena Journal, didn’t like my column on the Good Rev. Wrong a couple of weeks ago. Well, I don’t know quite where to begin in my “ranting” rebuttal.

Joe and I go back a few years. When I first bought the Pasadena Weekly in 1988, I wrote a column about him putting a subhead on his paper — “The Newspaper for Black People.” Something like that. I thought he was a racist for doing that. He seemed to agree, because he stopped putting that offensive line on his paper.

And he seems to discount my reflections on the Rev. Jeremiah Wright and Barack Obama because of my supposed profanity. Well, yes Joe, I did use a few bad words like damn and pissed-off. (Hell, I thought you liberals would like that shit.) But Joe, I’m sure you have used your column to rail against the black rappers who have used their highly hip-hopping artistic-level profanity by using the f-word, the c-word, the b-word and the n-word to degrade blacks and women. Why don’t you send me some copies of those columns, Joe?

And Joe, I don’t give a hoot (is the h-word OK?) where you go to church. Don’t give me this red herring about me wanting to tell you where to go to church. I never said that, and I don’t care what church you or Obama attends. All I care about is Obama listening to hate speech coming from the pulpit of the church he attended and doing nothing about it … for 20 years!

Which sermon did you and your other “enlightened black folks” find the most spiritually uplifting? The one where he called America the KKK of A.? Or the one where he preached that we white guys started AIDS to kill off black people? Or maybe it was the one where he eloquently moralized that white people caused the attack on the Twin Towers on 9/11? Hmm? Whatever happened to the Sermon on the Mount?

And that First Amendment whining of yours. Who the hell is stopping you from speaking your mind? Nobody. You have a damn newspaper, for Christ’s sake! You just don’t like it when someone responds. Well, Joe, I’m just using my First Amendment right to call you and Obama and the Rev. Wrong on your misguided, racist comments. If you can’t stand the heat, then get out of the damn kitchen. Just call me a racist jerk in your newspaper if you like, but please, save me the whining about how I want to stop you from speaking your mind.

Yes, I said Obama’s wife was “ungrateful” because she is ungrateful. She doesn’t seem to thank anybody for her opportunity to get a good education and for her and Obama to make over $4 million. What part of “ungrateful” am I missing?

And yes, I didn’t say Hillary Clinton was “ungrateful” because, well, she isn’t. She may be a lot of things, but she has often thanked a lot of people for her many opportunities and for her and her hubby’s ability to make a tidy little $109 million over the last few years.

And Joe, of course I respected Martin Luther King. I was devastated when he was murdered. It was one of the most sickening moments of my life. I visited his memorial in Memphis and was very moved. I still get shivers. But, please don’t equate Rev. King with Rev. Wrong and Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton and Louis Farrakhan and Malcolm X. In my opinion, Jackson is nothing more than a publicity-hungry extortionist of businesses for mostly phony race issues. Sharpton lied about a black woman being raped and nobody gives a damn. And I don’t have space or stomach enough to tell you what I think of Farrakhan and Malcolm X. I can tell you this, though. They’re not Martin Luther King.

And what is all this bull-word calling me “Massa” Laris? Give me a break. Joe, who in the hell have I ever kept down on the metaphorical plantation? I have never tried to stifle anybody, ever. Black or white. Just because I speak my mind you think I’m trying to keep blacks down? Come on, Joe. You know that’s bullshit (hide your eyes). I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you can find any proof of me even hinting at stifling anyone’s speech. It’s ludicrous, and you should apologize. But I guess black people don’t apologize, either, huh, Joe?

If I may go a little shrinky on you here, Joe, I think you’re mainly pissed off at me because I don’t feel the adequate amount of guilt over slavery and racial prejudice that you think I should. And to be fair, you’re right. I don’t feel much guilt. I know I can’t convey how much I abhor the evils of slavery and I know that prejudice exists. And I know I’m white, and obviously, I haven’t been in you or your ancestors’ shoes. That’s how it is. I’m a white guy. Sorry.

But, I didn’t have any slaves, my parents didn’t have any slaves, their parents didn’t have any slaves. Slavery was 200 years ago. We fought the Civil War to stop slavery. Hundreds of thousands of white guys died to stop slavery. Doesn’t that count for something? Have you ever thanked us white guys who helped you attain freedom? Maybe you have. If you have, I haven’t heard about it.

I’m not naïve about the black struggle. It has been ugly. But you know what? It’s not anywhere near as ugly as it has been. And today we have black governors and black mayors and black senators, and black police chiefs and a black Supreme Court justice and a black secretary of state. That should count for something, Joe.

And maybe we’ll even have a black president. I hope it’s not this black candidate because I don’t think Obama has the chops. But I’m glad he is in the fight. A fight without any pulled punches. Let him take the damn heat, like every other candidate always has. Let the press rip him. Don’t call it a “distraction” when you are asked hard questions. We’re just trying to see what you’re made of.

The last thing we need in America is an affirmative action president.